Our trip to McDonalds
by melody015
Summary: Tohru can't talk right, Kyo gets abducted by alien cats, and Momiji is addicted to nuggets.It all started with a trip to McDonalds. PURE CRACKFIC. No plot, corny/funny.Little bit of cursing.


WARNING: momiji on crack, and random singing. There is no particular pairing in this one, and I just felt the urge to right something random and stupid. On to the stupidness!

_(Kyo,Yuki, and Momiji are sitting in Shigure's living room)_

(Tohru looks into the fridge)

TOHRU: Were all out of food. We'll have to order out……

SHIGURE: No! How will I live without my future wive's meals for a second!

(a light bulb pops over Momiji's head)

MOMIJI: I have an idea! I have one! Pick me! Pick me!

TOHRU: Yes Momiji?

MOMIJI: I heard about this little place called McDonalds!

(dark clouds swirl over Yuki's head)

YUKI: You mean that—no matter how it is cleaned—dirty place where crackheads and perverts hang out?

KYO: Sounds more like Shigure's room to me…..

_**--BA-DUM CRASH!—**_

SHIGURE: Tohru cleans it! Even after playtime with Ayame!

KYO: ……..

YUKI: ……..

TOHRU: ………

MOMIJI: Come on! Nothing is worse than Shigure's room so it will be okay! Pleeeaaaasseee!

KYO&YUKI: No…….

MOMIJI:…..

TOHRU: maybe we can go to the market an—

(momiji pulls out a mega phone from thin air)

MOMIJI: McNUGGETS MCNUGGETS YEAH! MCNUGGETS MCNUGGETS YEAH! MCNUGGETS MCNUGGETS YEAH! McNUGGETS MCNUGGETS YEAH!!

TOHRU: Well…it's only one trip. No less than 10 minutes, I swear it!

(Kyo and Yuki look at each other)

KYO: fine…..

MOMIJI: …KETCHUP AND MAYO! KETCHUP AND MAYO!

(Yuki drags Momiji out with everyone)

_

* * *

_

TOHRU: what.

YUKI: The.

KYO: HELL!?!?!?

(A big place lies before them, with booths all over. Flags,licence plates and other crap are hanging on ever visible inch of the green walls. People sit and eat with big physco smiles on their face, Ronald McDonald is rocking in the corner with a French fry mumbling something to himself,a hippie is clipping his toenails onto random people's food, a little girl in a pink dress and pigtails walks by and has the voice of a man, A random orange cat gives Kyo the evil eye, and Momiji is STILL singing.)

MOMIJI: GIVE ME THAT FILET-O-FISH! GIVE ME THAT FISH!

KYO: Why is that cat looking at me like that……

TOHRU: whubat iubs alubl thubis?

EVERYONE: ??????!!!!

SHIGURE: I'll call H'ari!!

(A few seconds after Shigure uses the phone, Hatori shows up like the roadrunner)

HATORI: She is suffering from trauma. I don't know if she will talk regular again.

_**--DUN DUN DUUNNNNNN—**_

TOHRU: neubveubr!?!?!?!

KYO: I'm going to order now.

(As soon as kyo moves, the cat comes and scratches the hell out of Kyo's face.)

(Hatori starts working on Kyo's face while Momiji points to the menu)

MOMIJI: MCNUGGETS YALL! MUCNUGGETS YALL! MCNUGGETS MCNUGGETS YALL! MCNUGGETS YALL!

(Hatori forgets completely about Kyo's face and speeds to the front desk with everyone else)

TOHRU: nuubggubetubs!

YUKI: 300 ORDERS OF CHICKEN NUGGETS PLEASE!!

CASHIER: Does not compute…..Does not compute… Over load…shield activation….

(a shield covers the cashier/robot and it explodes)

TOHRU: Thubat waubs weubirubd….

MOMIJI: I WANT MY NUGGETS YALL! I WANT MY NUGGETS YALL!

SHIGURE: Hey, does anyone know what those French fries remind me of? I could use them for Aya and I's next play session!

EVERYONE: ……………………….

SHIGURE: No one gets me!!!!!!

YUKI: no……

TOHRU: heuby! Whubat iubs thubat?

(at this point, Kyo faints from blood loss, the sky opens up, and two red cats with wings carry him away.)

TOHRU: whubat thube fuubck?

YUKI: Everyone who wants to save him, raise their hand.

(Tohru, Shigure, and Momiji raise their hand.)

YUKI: dammit…….

(Everyone watches in awe and Yuki kicks flying cat ass)

(Yuki comes back with scratches and everything on his face, his clothes ripped in places.)

YUKI: Those things are VICIOUS!

TOHRU: Gubo anubd geubt Kyubo!

_**/////////AN HOUR LATER//////////////**_

(Yuki comes back with a shaking Kyo.)

KYO: I saw things I shouldn't have seen…..

TOHRU: ??????

YUKI: This is the LAST time we eat out!

MOMIJI: I WANT MY NUGGETS AYLL! I WANT MY NUGGETS YALL!

YUKI: what the hell……

(The cats that took Kyo before come back down and start speaking alien)

CATS: ccccflkyeghfd ghythahd !!!!!!!!!

(Tohru blushes and laughs)

KYO: What did they say?

TOHRU: Thubey wiublubl reubtuubrn foubr thube seubxuby onube soubon.

EVERYONE: …….?????????........

TOHRU: Thubeiubr quubeeubn loubveubs Kyubo.

KYO: I don't want to know HOW she understands…

(Momiji is eating some nuggets while the demon cats carry Kyo away again)

YUKI: Oh, hell no.

KYO: I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TOHRU: ………….

(Shigure walks up to them normally, ignoring the red sky and giant rip in the universe)

SHIGURE: What I miss?

(Yuki kicks Shigure in the head)

YUKI: I am not going up there again just to save the mattaku no baka.

TOHRU: Oh screw this crap.

(Everyone turns to Tohru like she is crazy)

(Tohru grabs a bat that was just lying around and starts to hit all the cats carrying Kyo.)

YUKI: Remind me not to get on her nerves while near weapons……

MOMIJI: SAVE ME NUGGETS!!!!!!!!!

(Kyo and Tohru come back, and Kyo runs home screaming)

KYO: SHIRIMASEN! SHIRIMASEN OUJO NEKO!!

YUKI: I don't want to know….

_**////////END/////////**_

A/n: pure crack. Was it funny? Horrible—well it is supposed to be horrible. Tell me what you think.

MOMIJI: aww! I dropped my nuggets!

EVERYONE ELSE: O.O


End file.
